Texas Parent Asks Museum To Reschedule Eclipse Party – HILARIOUS (IMAGES)
In what has become a HILARIOUS post, a Texas parent asked a museum to reschedule their Eclipse Party…
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Phony Land Rover Crashes Into Real Thing In Bizarre Accident (DETAILS/IMAGES)
It’s no secret that when it comes to accusations of copyright infringement, Chinese corporations are usually frequent offenders. This is especially apparent in the automotive industry, where Chinese offerings are often styled to be nearly identical to their conventional counterparts. However, a rare meeting between the real deal and its plagiarized cousin materialized via a…
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Amazon A.I. Making Cell Phone Cases Gets It Horribly Wrong (NSFW)
An A.I. bot created by Amazon to specifically design smartphone cases has outdone itself in ways you cannot even imagine. This bot is supposed to be generating cell phone cases based on trending and popular images searches. However, the programming of the bot has been flubbed, and the designs pouring from the machinery are nothing…
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Man Accidentally Shoots His Penis Off – But That’s NOT His Worst Problem
If you ask a man what the worst possible thing is that could happen to him, one of two things will be said: either he will talk about losing his job or he will talk about losing his penis. So, when a man accidentally shoots his penis off, that’s a big deal. Right? Not for…
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WATCH: Couple Filmed Joining Mile High Club In Hot Water: They’re Both In Relationships
Alcohol can drastically lower a person’s inhibitions, causing them to do things they’d normally shy away from. For example, canoodling in a public space while surrounded by other people. According to this woman’s friends, alcohol is to blame for her getting a little too physical with a fellow airplane passenger as others watched. Tracy Bolton and…
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Are You One In A Million? Check These Odd Genetic Traits To Find Out
Have you ever had someone tell you that you’re definitely “one in a million?” Most of the time the person is just trying to make you feel good. But some people actually are one in a million, at least when it comes to these odd genetic traits. Do you know anyone with any of these strange…
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The Twitter Message Bill Clinton’s “Love Child” Left For Him On Father’s Day
Alright, so no one really knows if the claims this man is making are true, but 31-year old Danney Williams posted a series of messages on his Twitter account thanking the man who “abandoned him” for “giving him life.” Even though you abandoned me and only took care of Chelsea, I still want to thank…
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KKK Apologist Now Responsible For Educating Georgian Kids
Not only is racism still alive and well in our country, but our government has no problem with having racist educators. KKK Representative Tommy Benton (R-Georgia) is a retired teacher with some strong Southern pride. He’s not just proud about living below the Mason-Dixon Line, though. He doesn’t understand why people don’t like the Ku Klux Klan,…
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Scientists Display The Oldest Human Remains Ever Found
You know, there are days when I feel really old. Like, so old. Ancient almost. But I have just been reminded that I haven’t actually been hanging around this earth for all that long. A group of European and Moroccan scientists just found the remains of five people who walked this beautiful earth somewhere…
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A Pair of Vampire Lovers Practice Disturbing Hygiene (VIDEO)
In folklore and film, vampires are suave, yet malevolent beings who thirst for blood. The more innocent the victim, the better. Before Bram Stoker made the vampire attractive with his 1897 novel Dracula, vampires belonged primarily to the peasant villages of Central and Eastern Europe. From Bavaria to Bulgaria, vampires were depicted as the bloated corpses…
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Scientists Create Human-Pig Hybrid!! (VIDEO)
Every day, hundreds of new people are added to the national list in need of an organ. Many die while waiting for these organs. Scientists ponder certain questions every day. What if the injured and ill no longer need to wait? What if instead of relying on a donor, you could grow the needed organ…
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Texas Sheriff Says Manchester Bombing Happened Because The Brits Don’t Own Enough Guns
Well, just in case you were wondering, Texas has not grown any more intelligent or informed in the past week. At least some people in Texas haven’t. That includes Sheriff Tracy Murphree of Denton county. The Texas lawman took to Facebook on Monday to pontificate about the causes of the deadly terrorist bombing in Manchester,…
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Georgia’s Death Row Guy Channels Cool Hand Luke In Last Words: ‘You Can Kiss My White Trash A** (VIDEO)
One of Paul Newman’s most notable movies was Cool Hand Luke, a 1967 prison drama. He played Luke, an inmate who wouldn’t conform to life behind bars. So it shouldn’t be that surprising that an inmate recited lines from it while being executed. J.W. Ledford, Jr. was executed last Wednesday at 1:17 am in Georgia. He originally…
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Vancouver Scientists Discover A Complex Language Between Plants!
In 1997, a study by the University of British Columbia, led by Suzanne Simard, discovered that certain trees—namely douglas fir and paper birch—can transfer carbon (used in the trees’ photosynthetic and respiratory processes) between them via mycelia (underground fungus). Since then, scientists globally have discovered the exchange of nitrogen and phosphorus through the same method.…
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This Basic Instinct Is More Automatic Than Many Think — The Little Girl Who Saved Herself
Last Saturday afternoon, a 10-year old girl pried open an alligator’s mouth in Orlando, Florida to free herself from the animal that had clamped down onto her leg. She was apparently swimming in designated swimming areas of Lake Mary Jane where the water was only two-feet deep, and the 9-foot alligator snapped down onto her…
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Kodak Hid An Explosive And Dangerous Device For Decades (TWEETS/VIDEO)
For about 30 years, Kodak kept weapons-grade uranium hidden underneath their labs in Rochester, New York. The same type of uranium that’s used to make nuclear weapons. They used it to scan other materials. With a concentration level of 93.4% though, it’s the stuff terrorists dream of. Luckily they only had about a tenth of what’s…
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The Mounting Issue That Threatens LGBTQ Community
While freedom of speech is something that everyone prides themselves in having and freely takes advantage of, this does not mean your free speech has to be received well by the public. Such is the case with the host of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. The show’s main ring-leader has found himself in the middle of…
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Prowler’s Plans Get Spiked With Hilarious Results
Typically, the police have to go through a bit of effort to nab a criminal for the big arrest. However, for a local police department in Arizona, baggy pants and a spiked fence proved to be two unlikely components of a recent arrest. It all began when a small time crook broke into the grounds…
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Secret Service Forces Are Worn Out, Stretched Too Thin, And Worked Like Dogs Under Trump (VIDEO)
The life of a Secret Service agent isn’t easy. You’re expected to do whatever it takes to protect the president, including risk your own life. As Don the Con runs our country into the ground, he’s doing the same to these agents. Most presidents do their business from the White House, but not President Donald…
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White Supremacist Gets Schooled By Muslim Lawyer (TWEETS/VIDEO)
White supremacists love to use the phrase ‘radical Islam,’ often taking to Twitter to vent out their racism. They also tend to forget about radical Christianity. Not to worry, though. One Muslim lawyer, who was tired of being trolled by these so-called Christians, decided to give them an education. It all started when Qasim Rashid…
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Tragedy: Man Chokes Eating A Huge Doughnut (VIDEO)
A 42-year-old man from Denver, Travis Malouff, choked on Sunday while attempting the Tex-Ass challenge at a Voodoo Doughnut shop. The challenge involves eating a 1.1 pound doughnut (roughly the size of six regular sized doughnuts) in under 80 seconds. The attempt went horribly wrong when the man suffered an obstruction of his airways and was…
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Woman On The Loose After A Crime Involving Two Patties And A Bun (VIDEO)
You don’t need an actual weapon to cause bodily harm. For example, you could use your hands to choke someone or push them up against a wall. You could even kick people with your legs. If none of those tactics work, there’s always cheeseburgers. A recent altercation between a mother and daughter left quite the…
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Gwyneth Paltrow Has An Odd Way Of Deciding What’s On The Menu (VIDEO)
When I was a kid growing up in the Boston area, the only people who ever ate octopus were Sicilians like my own family, who ate the seven fishes on Christmas eve. Yum. My Grampa made it steamed and served it with olives and capers. Now almost everyone has tried the seafood delicacy. It’s…
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SATIRE DEBUNKED: The Tickling Bandit Of Texas
People on social media are breathing a sigh of relief. More specifically, they’re unclenching their butts because a criminal is no longer on the loose. Not just any criminal, though. A butt hole tickler. In December of 2015, fake news site Not Allowed To posted a vague article claiming that a man in Texas had finally been captured.…
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Diego The Turtle Romanced New Life Into His Dying Species (VIDEO)
The same man who educated the world on evolution contributed to the near demise of a species. Luckily we have Diego, a male tortoise and proud father of several hundred offspring. Diego is a Chelonoidis hoodensis and lives at the Charles Darwin Research Station in the Galapagos Islands. Back in the 1970s, there were only a dozen or…
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$4 Million In Eyeshadow Stolen – Hide Your Makeup
Thieves will steal just about anything that will make them some money. Jewelry, electronics, and even eyeshadow. Not just any eyeshadow, though. Only the Modern Renaissance collection by Anastasia Beverly Hills will do for these culprits. Between January 28 and January 30, police believe that some burglars drilled a hole into a cosmetics warehouse in Los Angeles,…
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This Is What Happens When You Use Archaic Technology
Automated text messages are an ancient means of communication. Instead of an alert on your cell phone, you get an actual text with words and instructions on how to reply. These texts rely on code to interact with the recipient. In other words, there’s no human on the other end. One man found that out…
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Trump’s Golfing Habit Is Bankrupting The Country (VIDEO)
President Donald Trump has been complaining about our economy for quite some time. Yet for a guy who hates unnecessary spending, he sure does take a lot of unnecessary trips. On the taxpayers’ dime, no less. ‘Messy Budget’ During a meeting with the Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin,…
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Lawmaker Dislikes Liberal Professors – Has Sizzler Business ‘Degree’ (VIDEO)
A Republican lawmaker wants to enact a hiring freeze on state college professors. Simply put, his own experience with liberal ones left a bad taste in his mouth. He has a management certificate from Sizzler steakhouse. Iowa Senator Mark Chelgren (R) says he didn’t care for his liberal professors back in college. He disliked them so much,…
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Elderly Man Attempts Ritual Suicide Inside Of A Tokyo Police Station
On February 21st, an elderly resident of Tokyo walked into a police station located in the Chiyoda Ward. There, near the entrance, the man produced a folding knife and began cutting into his own stomach. According to the Tokyo Reporter blog, 72-year-old Shoji Tsuchida attempted suicide at around 11:00 a.m. Tsuchida, a resident of Yashio City, Saitama…
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Johnny Depp Blames Management For $2 Million Monthly Lifestyle
Actor Johnny Depp has apparently lead a lifestyle that most people dream about. After enjoying dozens of luxury cars and a chain of islands in the Bahamas, he’s suing his former management company for “gross mismanagement and, at times, outright fraud.” For the past 17 years, The Management Group has taken care of his finances.…
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Melania Sues Because She Can’t Use FLOTUS Status As Cash Cow
Imagine the uproar that republicans would have had if former First Lady Michelle Obama sought a financial gain. The role of a First Lady is to help the president serve their country, not seek fame in order to launch a line of products. Yet that’s exactly what First Lady Melania Trump wanted to do but…
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Principal Has Alternatives For Fighting Bears In School (VIDEO)
With so much resistance to President Donald Trump, it’s hard to believe that anything good has come out of this nightmare. A principal from Lexington, Kentucky has somehow managed to find the silver lining. Gerry Brooks uploaded a short video with products to help stop bear attacks in schools. If you’re scratching your head on…
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Trump Just Linked The Most Powerful Twitter Account In The World To Gmail (TWEETS)
President Donald Trump gained supporters by bringing up national security. His opponent, former Democratic Nominee Hillary Clinton, was found to have used a private email server for business purposes. That makes him a bit of a hypocrite though, thanks to some recent findings. You’d think that tweeting your plans for global domination would make you…
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BFFs Putin And Trump Troll Atomic Scientists (VIDEO)
In 1947, the Doomsday Clock was created by fake-scientists to symbolize the Earth’s proximity to total destruction. The Bulletin of the Atomic Fake-Scientists oversees the hypothetical clock, adjusting its hands to directly correspond with how irresponsibly we govern our planet. Thursday, the clock moved thirty seconds closer to midnight, bringing us within two and a…
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Hate Speech: Vice or Inalienable Right?
Battle lines have been drawn. Already, activists, protesters, and free-thinking humanitarians across the world have vocalized their intention to RESIST the ill-founded and dangerous policies of President Dorrance Trump and the billionaires who bought his election. While it is undoubtedly important to defend against the threats presented by our newfound government, it is just as…
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Ladies And Gentleman, Meet President Bane (VIDEO)
“Bane is a fictional supervillain appearing in American Comic Books, published by DC Comics.” Donald Trump is a non-fiction supervillain appearing in American Real Life, published by USA Comedic Tragedies, LLC. In case you missed it, President Trump quoted Batman’s nemesis in his inaugural speech. President Bane? If only. Bane’s list of super abilities that…
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Man Did Something VERY STRANGE With This Python (VIDEO)
A To Z Pets in Portland, Oregon suffered a rather unusual theft during the first week of the new year. According to store owner Richard Bjugan, a man and a blue-haired woman walked into his store on Friday, January 6th. The couple kept to themselves for a few minutes, then security cameras caught the man taking…
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Tased And Confused: Arizona Man Discovers Weed Still Illegal After Front Yard Arrest (VIDEO)
Nothing beats kicking back in the front yard, jamming out and enjoying an innocent toke — except when you forget that marijuana is still illegal in your state, and find yourself in the back of a squad car instead of high on cloud nine. That’s what happened to Lon Victor Post, 54, last Wednesday. The…
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Naked Man Rescued From Freezing Cold Near Pentagon In Virginia
Over the last several months, there have been three separate incidents of nude men along roads in Virginia near the Arlington, Virginia/Pentagon areas. The cases don’t seem to be related other than the mens’ fondness for nudity.
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Colorado Man Dresses Up In Cape And Sombrero, Traps Woman In Bathroom To Snort Coke
For a drug addict, the worst moment is when they are running low and cannot reach their supplier and they are forced to source a different dealer.
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Man Was Watching Adult Film While Driving Before Fatal Crash
In an unfortunate report in Detroit from the Michigan State Police, there was a fatal single car accident at just after 3:30 in the morning on January 24, 2015. The accident happened on the ramp of I-75, where troopers can be chalked up to distracted driving, the number one cause of accidents.
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