We have found the long-lost transcript of Donald Trump’s interview for the position of President of the United States:
Interviewer: So, Mr Trump, Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself?
Trump: Well, I’m the son of a really rich guy, and I’m very rich. I’m one of the richest people around; ask anyone. I only had a $1 million dollars to start my business; it was almost nothing. I went to college to avoid being drafted. Now, I’m using my loud mouth and racist banter to win over the uneducated people in America.
Interviewer: What are your weaknesses and how will you overcome them?
I don’t think I have any weaknesses, but my weaknesses are bigger than anyone else’s. I have great weaknesses. I will overcome the weaknesses better than anyone else.
Interviewer: What is your healthcare plan?
I have a great plan; everyone is going to love it. It’s called health savings accounts. You can save the extra money you have and pay for your own bills. If I can do it as a billionaire, then anyone can do it. Who cares if they are already sick?
Interviewer: Where are your tax returns?
They’re under a never-ending audit … by Vladdy.
Interviewer: Are you a team player?
Absolutely. I have the best team. I always get the best people. I can play well as long as they don’t interrupt my stories and my Fox News.
Interviewer: Why do you want to ban Muslims?
I don’t want to ban Muslims. I just want to keep them out of the country. They’re not all terrorists, but they are terrorists, so we should just keep them out.
Interviewer: I don’t think this is going to work out.
Featured image via Twitter.