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Benjamin Welton

Benjamin Welton has 67 articles published.

Maine Man Amasses Army Of Unique ‘Soldiers’ To Combat City Hall (VIDEO)

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Hell hath no fury like an upset Mainer, apparently. In Augusta, Maine, a very aggrieved local apartment tenant traveled to city hall in order to complain about a pesky problem that he has apparently had for quite some time. The unnamed man chastised his municipal government for not responding to his general assistance request in a timely fashion.…

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A Pair of Vampire Lovers Practice Disturbing Hygiene (VIDEO)

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In folklore and film, vampires are suave, yet malevolent beings who thirst for blood. The more innocent the victim, the better. Before Bram Stoker made the vampire attractive with his 1897 novel Dracula, vampires belonged primarily to the peasant villages of Central and Eastern Europe. From Bavaria to Bulgaria, vampires were depicted as the bloated corpses…

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A Woman Marries A Building, Claims To Have Romantic Connection (VIDEO)

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Forty-five-year-old Carol Santa Fe, a native of San Diego, California, is a happily married woman. She has had the same lover for a whopping thirty-six years. According to Carol, the love of her life is the Santa Fe train station. Ever since she was nine-years-old, Carol has been in love with the old building. The…

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Burglar Steals Grandmother’s Security Camera To Cover-Up Embarassment

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The Dunbar Police Department in West Virginia got a call about a daylight robbery on April 23rd. Pretty normal call, right? Wrong. St. Albans resident Tristan Tucker admitted to police that he was responsible for the robbery. His own grandmother told police that her 27-year-old grandson had repeatedly broke into her house. This time Tucker…

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One-Eyed Mammal Is Now A Rockstar In India (VIDEO)

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Miracles are real. They happen every day. However, it is not every day a miracle turns into an object of worship. In the Assam region of India, a goat mother recently gave birth to a baby with one eye and one ear. Local veterinarians did not give the little baby much chance of making it…

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A Moment Of Passion Is Man’s Last (VIDEO)

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Although not all of the facts are in yet, we can safely say that one North Charleston man had the unluckiest night of his life. He came and went more or less at the same time, if you catch the drift. On Friday night, police in North Charleston, South Carolina received an urgent call about…

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Nebraska Neighbor From Hell Sent Strippers To His Neighbors Porch

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Douglas Goldsberry may not be worst neighbor ever, but the particular tactic he used to terrify his neighbors is one of the most unique in recorded history. According to police records, Goldsberry, 45, hired erotic dancers to strip on the front porch of a home that belonged to a family that lived across the street. Over…

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Florida Crook Tries To Get Off A Drug Bust With Unique Bribe (VIDEO)

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Desperate times call for desperate measures, apparently. One Florida man thought that his own situation was so bad that he tried to bribe a police officer with his favorite fast food. According to Pasco Police officer Joshua Glass, he stopped a driver in a black Honda on Tuesday, May 16th. Upon looking into the driver-side window, Officer…

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A Black Mass Is Caught On Video in Thailand (VIDEO)

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Be forewarned: if you do not like creepy crawlies, then you should stop reading this article right now. But, since you’re already here, let’s talk about how hundreds of black caterpillars in Thailand decided to join together in order to form a slow-moving train that greased across a tiled floor. Earlier this month, a shocked…

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Haunted Doll Wanders Through House And Attacks Family While Sleeping (VIDEO)

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Dolls are creepy things. That is undeniable. Making matters worse is the fact that Hollywood has made many (too many?) movies about possessed dolls. In Child’s Play, serial killer Charles Lee Ray puts his soul into the body of the ginger-haired doll Chucky. In Annabelle, the murderous Disciples of the Ram place a demon inside of the…

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New Jersey Teen’s Prom Ride Knocks ‘Em Dead (VIDEO)

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In the average American high school, students have to confront their awkward years along with everyone else. This can lead to some rather interesting results. Of course, cliques, which are more or less wholesome gangs created out of mutual interest or hatred, exist in order to pester those whose awkward years are especially clumsy. However,…

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North Korean Ships Keep Washing Ashore In Japan With Shocking Cargo (VIDEO)

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For years, Japan’s neighbors have been using the sea to quietly invade them. From China, Japanese fishermen have grown accustomed to the garbage that blows over to their side of the Pacific. From North Korea, a much more malodorous cargo has been washing ashore. Since 2015, fourteen boats from North Korea have landed on Japan’s western…

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Make Sure You Bring Those Hand Wipes Because In This Place STD’s Aren’t Reserved For Intimacy

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Sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs, obviously imply sexual contact. It would seem logical that if you really wanted to get an STD (why would you?), you would first have to have sex. Well, throw logic out of the window, for there are some places where you can get an STD without doing the deed yourself.…

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It Begins: Zombie Fox Attempts A Home Invasion (VIDEO)

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In some movies it begins with a plague outbreak. Others involve voodoo curses or the Book of Revelation. In real life, it may just start with one deranged fox in the Russian town of Usinsk. In a terrifying video, a clearly bloodied fox bites and claws at what appears to be a metal doorstop. Then, just…

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Berlin Cemetery Haunted By Creepy Crawlies (VIDEO)

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Cemeteries are supposed to be a little spooky. After all, horror movies, novels, and television shows that involve cemeteries also tend to involve ghosts, vampires, or demons. Well, the historic Weissensee Cemetery in Berlin is currently haunted by more everyday horrors. Weissensee is one of the largest Jewish cemeteries in all of Europe. It is…

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The Inducer Pizza Has An Unusual Side Effect

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Hawthorne’s New York Pizza and Bar in Charlotte, North Carolina has recently seen an uptick in its pregnant clientele. The reason? One of the company’s pizza pies promises to help women to give birth. Apparently, pregnant women believe that consuming the “The Inducer,” which comes with medium-hot Buffalo sauce, mozzarella cheese, and chicken, helps their…

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Moscow Has A New Terminator (VIDEO)

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The 1987 film RoboCop imagined a futuristic Detroit wherein crime had gotten so bad that a law and order cyborg armed with a hand-held machine gun was built in order to make the streets safe again. In the film, which was panned by many professional movie reviewers as a paean to fascism, both the Detroit Police Department and…

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Florida Criminal Tries To Hide Drug Stash In The Most Ingenious Way Possible (VIDEO)

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30-year-old Omar Palencia, a resident of Davenport, Florida, had an extremely elaborate plan to smuggle drugs into the United States. According to the Polk County Sheriff’s Department, Palencia invested $600,000 in crystal meth. This meth was then made into a type of “meth paste” that was plastered all over three pieces of pottery that Palencia…

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British Team Accidentally Discovers This Historical Treasure (VIDEO)

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In 2015, the Garden Museum of London closed for 18 months in order to undergo some serious refurbishing. Workers expected nothing out of the ordinary. However, something rather unusual did happen. Builders working in the medieval St. Mary’s Church of Lambeth Palace discovered a secret compartment underneath the church’s flagstones. In the hidden crypt was found thirty…

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Crappy Situation: Texas Woman Gets Hand Stuck In The Worst Place Possible (VIDEO)

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We all have bad days. Sometimes, these bad days turn into incredibly embarrassing bad days. One woman in New Caney, Texas had her horrible, terrible, not-so-good day reported online for millions to read about and watch. Gracie Henderson, in an attempt to manually fix a clogged toilet, put her left hand into the bowl. She…

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The Show Will NOT Go On – At Least Not Without An Exorcism (VIDEO)

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Actors can be a rather picky lot. The usual assortment of divas, prima donnas, and arrogant self-aggrandizers tend to be a drag on almost every production. However, actors at the Old Granada Studios in Manchester, England have continually cut short their rehearsals for a very odd reason–ghosts. According to many thespians and technicians at the…

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US Navy SEAL Facing Possible Hard Times For Porn Career (VIDEO)

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Chief Warrant Officer Joseph John Schmidt III, a US Navy SEAL with twenty-three years of service, is currently in dutch because of his second career. Mr. Schmidt moonlights as a porn star. Filmed often in conjunction with his wife, porn starlet Jewels Jade, Mr. Schmidt, 42, has appeared in at least 29 adult videos. What’s…

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Oscar-Winning Film Inspires A Gruesome Murder (VIDEO)

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When real-life crime and movies are mentioned in the same breath, the subsequent moral outrage usually falls on horror or gory action movies. For instance, not long after the Columbine tragedy of 1999, many talking heads blamed the shooting on everything from Marilyn Manson to the action flick Natural Born Killers. Two decades earlier, Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork…

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Illinois Town Solves Its Voting Problem With A Very Odd, Old Trick

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Democracy is supposed to be serious business. Years after the reforms of the Athenian politician Solon, a revolutionary and democratic constitution was ushered in for the Greek citizens of that particular city-state. However, the Greek democracies of the ancient world privileged duties more than rights, and unlike the liberal democracies of today, the census of the…

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British Scientist Blames House Explosion On This Animal (Video)

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Whenever a home goes up in flames, investigators usually sift through the evidence in order to uncover whether arson or mechanical failures were to blame. One year-long case in England is problematizing this standard approach. In Haxby, York, the body of a 63-year-old man named Paul Wilmott was discovered three meters from his house underneath dirt…

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Archaeologists Make HUGE Discovery In Egypt (VIDEO)

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suEver since British archaeologist Howard Carter uncovered the forgotten tomb of the Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamun (“King Tut”) in the Valley of the Kings in 1922, mystery, intrigue, and romance have been attached to Egyptology. Believe or not, there are still those who believe in the “Curse of the Pharaohs”–an ancient bedevilment that supposedly targets all archaeologists…

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Grave-Robbing Italian Gangsters’ Bizarre Plot To Steal A Speed Demon Foiled (VIDEO)

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When you’re famous, even death won’t keep you safe from the adoring public. Or criminals. In a rather bizarre bid to earn some quick cash, a 30-man drug gang in Italy concocted a plot wherein they would dig up the body of Enzo Ferrari, the legendary car manufacturer, and hold the corpse for ransom. The…

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Woman Takes An Unbelievable Selfie At The Exact Moment THIS Happened

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The selfie can be dangerous. There are numerous articles on the internet about teens and twentysomethings getting into trouble thanks to their desire to promote their virtual vanity. One woman in Santa Barbara, California learned the hard way that a selfie does not make you immune to Mother Nature. A 20-year-old Twitter user named @youngweonhi…

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Furry German Animal Dominates At Connect Four

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A coati is an adorable mammal that can be found all across Latin America, from Mexico down to Brazil. A relative of the raccoon, coatis are known for their high intelligence. One coati named Sunny, who currently lives with a private citizen in the German capital of Berlin, certainly proves that theory. According to reports,…

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Meet Jair Bolsonaro, The Most Hated Politician In The Americas (VIDEO)

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Owing to a multiplicity of factors, governments across the world are being shaken up by populist, anti-establishment movements. On the left, men like Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, and Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsirpas have discarded the “Third Way” model of the 1990s, which sought to synthesize a pro-capitalist approach in…

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One Man’s Cosplay Lands Him In Jail – The Joker Isn’t Laughing Now (VIDEO)

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On March 24th, The Joker was spotted in Winchester, Virginia. Citizens of the D.C.-area city were put on edge as the laughing sociopath walked the streets with a cape, mask, and sword. Fortunately, the Winchester Police Department apprehended the comic book villain all on their own. No Batman need apply. As it turned out, “The…

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Frisky Russian Raccoon Develops A New Obsession (VIDEO)

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One zoo in Russia has a very unique problem. The Moscow Zoo claims that a raccoon named Thomas developed an unhealthy obsession with female breasts after taking part in a racy photoshoot. According to a spokesperson for the petting zoo, Thomas’ fetish came after he was “traumatized” by a commercial ad that featuring a topless…

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Inebriated Scotsman Fondles A Cement Mixer Thinking It’s A Woman

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Anyone who has ever imbibed too much alcohol or smoked something they shouldn’t have knows what shame feels like. Certain substances lower inhibitions, thus opening the floodgates for otherwise embarrassing behavior. One Scotsman found this fact out while being documented for posterity. In a YouTube video called “Crackhead tries to feel up cement mixer thinking…

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Brazil’s President Leaves His Residence For This Haunting Reason

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Last summer, the entire nation of Brazil was thrown into turmoil thanks to numerous corruption allegations directed at then President Dilma Rousseff. Although Rousseff’s own Workers’ Party (PT) characterized the allegations as nothing more than a right-wing coup against a democratically-elected politician, the Federal Senate voted to impeach Rousseff based on evidence showing that her…

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YIKES! Tennessee Woman Wakes Up Next To a Snake (VIDEO)

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The fear of snakes is pretty common among human beings. One school of thought believes that evolutionary psychology can explain why so many humans loathe snakes, spiders, and other creepy crawlies. Specifically, when humans were still evolving from apes, snakes and spiders remained the few animals that could still attack our ancestors who sought shelter in…

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Russian TV Will Air Real-Life ‘Hunger Games’ Show In July (Video)

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Winston Churchill once quipped that Russia is “a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside of an enigma.” At times, to Western eyes, the Russian East seems like a place of great wonder and even greater malevolence. As evidence, look no further than the fact a Russian television show will soon bring the plot of The Hunger…

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Single Mother Pushed Into Prostitution By Fortune Teller, Judge Rules

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The Japanese court sincerely believes in mind control. That’s why, back on January 18th, a judge in the Tokyo District court ordered a fortune teller to pay a fine worth ¥98 million. The unscrupulous fortune teller stood convicted of “coercing” a single mother from Saitama Prefecture into a life of prostitution. This bizarre case was…

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SCARY: Houston Homeowners Find Human Bones In Their Attic

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It is the stuff of horror movies. Last Saturday, a Texas couple moved into their new home in Houston and discovered something so awful that they refused to spend the night in the house. Human bones were discovered in a space behind the walls of the attic. The bones showed signed of having been gnawed…

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Nike Unveils The ‘Pro Hijab.’ Social Enterprise Or Cash-In? (Video)

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The sportswear giant Nike will soon be selling what they have dubbed the Nike Pro Hijab, a single-layer pullover (or pull-on) cap made of polyester fabric. According to CNN, the idea for the Pro Hijab came after athletes complained to the company about wearing the traditional head covering during athletic competitions. All told, the design for…

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A Pint Of Beer Randomly Explodes In Pub Goer’s Face (Video)

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The Exploding Pint Glass sounds like an excellent name for a British pub. However, for one unlucky “punter” (British slang for a customer), his pint of Carling lager literally exploded without cause. According to Dave McGinnis, the landlord and proprietor of The Derby Arms pub in Knowsley, Merseyside, he did not immediately believe the customer’s…

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‘What Were You Thinking?’ Man Lectures Raccoon After Saving It (VIDEO)

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A good Samaritan in Hollywood, Florida decided to film his exploits after finding a raccoon stuck in a dumpster. The video shows the man using a wooden plank in order to rescue the critter, which had probably dived into the dumpster in search of food. After watching the raccoon try and fail to extract himself…

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‘Hellmouth’ Crater In Siberia May Reveal 200,000 Years Of History (Video)

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Climate change in Siberia has potentially unveiled one of the great scientific findings of 2017. According to a study recently published in the Quaternary Research journal, the Batagaika crater in Russia, which is known for producing many ominous sounds due to massive thawing, may contain up to 200,000 years worth climate data. Dubbed the “Hellmouth”…

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Elderly Man Attempts Ritual Suicide Inside Of A Tokyo Police Station

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On February 21st, an elderly resident of Tokyo walked into a police station located in the Chiyoda Ward. There, near the entrance, the man produced a folding knife and began cutting into his own stomach. According to the Tokyo Reporter blog, 72-year-old Shoji Tsuchida attempted suicide at around 11:00 a.m. Tsuchida, a resident of Yashio City, Saitama…

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Adorable Fifth Grader Asks Police Officers For Help With Math Homework (Video)

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A fifth grader in Marion, Ohio decided to seek help in a rather novel way. Tasked with tough math homework, 10-year-old Lena Draper decided to contact the Marion Police Department via Facebook. She kindly asked: I’m having trouble with my homework, could you help me? Most would not expect a response. However, Lena got several…

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Yakuza Boss And A Botched Penis Surgery Spell Bad News For The Nurse (Video)

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70-year-old Satoru Nomura is apparently not one to suffer medical malpractice in silence. The former member of the Kudo-kai organized crime group, which is part of the larger yakuza underground in Japan, stands accused of ordering a hit on a nurse four years ago. The specifics of this mob case are very bizarre. According to a statement…

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A Man Returns His Library Book 75 Years Overdue – Good Thing This Charge Was Waived (Video)

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Even the best, most law abiding people forget to return library books. George Washington, the first president of this great nation, died before he could return his copy of The Law of Nations by Emer de Vattel. Subsequently, the book was returned to the New York Library 221 years past its due date. Although not as bad as…

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World’s Biggest Spam Fan Gets Married In The Spam Museum

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“Fan” is short for fanatic. Fanatics are people who are thoroughly committed to an idea, an entity, or a cause. One British citizen is a die-hard Spam fanatic. In order to show how much he loves the processed and canned meat, he legally changed his name to Mark “I Love Spam” Benson. Spam, a square-shaped…

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American Pro Wrestler Puts A Record Number Of Nails In His Head (Video)

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The act of breaking a world record is often a ticket to immortality. Rod Stewart playing to the largest free concert in history or Chuck Yeager breaking the sound barrier have gone down in history as moments worthy of remembering. Of course, not every world record is so notable. Case in point: John Ferraro, an…

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French Man Is Currently Suing Uber For Exposing His Infidelity

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A citizen of the French Fifth Republic is currently suing the ride-sharing app Uber over a supposed technical malfunction. According to UPI, an unnamed resident of the French Riviera is seeking to win a whopping $47 million from the American company. The reason for this lawsuit? The man claims that the Uber app disclosed his infidelity to…

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Bizarre ‘Half-Cat, Half-Kangaroo’ Captured on Camera (Video)

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Cryptozoology is the study of animals and other life forms that have not been officially recognized by science. Cryptozoologists are similarly shunned by the official scientific community because they hunt after “mythical” creatures. You see, a cryptozoologist wants to use science to prove that Bigfoot exists or that there really is such a thing as…

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