Classified Ads Bloopers

in Grab Bag by

Here are some examples that prove that there can be some great laughs in the classifieds:

  • Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
  • A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
  • Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
  • Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
  • Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
  • Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
  • 7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.
  • Great Dames for sale.
  • Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

Featured image via Twitter.