Alright, everyone. The border wall has officially become a thing. Why? Because the Trump administration has already approached over 400 bidding contractors and provided them with an outline of what the border wall design has to include and has asked them to submit their beginning designs.
Among the other blustering and asinine requirements, it has to be able to withstand “sledgehammer, car jack, pick axe, chisel, battery operated impact tools… propane or butane or other similar hand-held tools” for upwards of four straight hours, because people crossing the border apparently try to do so with flamethrowers.
However, it also has to be aesthetically pleasing. Literally.
So, the wall essentially has to be a fluid combination of the gates of Hell and Benedict Cumberbatch.
Other requirements put the wall anywhere between 18-feet and 30-feet high, and the aesthetically pleasing aspect only has to be seen from the U.S. side.
I don’t know about you, but if someone was going to force me to pay for a wall, I would at least want it to be pretty on my side, too.
While these designs are creative, to say the least, it does offer quite a bit of insight into the paranoias and fears of America, as well as sheds light on their aspirations. Some companies, like Clayton Industries, do not mind boiling illegal Mexicans jumping over the fence in a 100-foot trench of nuclear waste so long as the waste contributes to generating electricity as a conduit.
Others, like Gleason Partners LLC of Las Vegas, have proposed a snakelike border with adhered solar panels to provide clean energy that could be sold and pay off the wall in 20 years, according to Thomas Gleason.
Props for not being so morbid.
DarkPulse Technologies has also proposed a plan for the border wall, which consists of a massive ballistics-grade concrete wall that has sensors embedded into it so border patrol can know the exact location of any tampering with the wall. Also, it would be coated in a material that would make it resistant to grappling hooks.
Despite all of the designs that have been submitted, the next phase of the process is to choose finalists who will then construct a 30-foot miniature replica of what their wall will look like in the San Diego desert before embarking on a project that has been estimated to cost anywhere between $12 billion and $38 billion dollars.
In the meantime, they should work on tailoring that budget down a bit. A $26 billion difference is a good chunk of change to be off by.
Sounds like my dating profile, to be honest.
Featured image courtesy of Otra Nation.