Inebriated Scotsman Fondles A Cement Mixer Thinking It’s A Woman

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Anyone who has ever imbibed too much alcohol or smoked something they shouldn’t have knows what shame feels like. Certain substances lower inhibitions, thus opening the floodgates for otherwise embarrassing behavior. One Scotsman found this fact out while being documented for posterity.

In a YouTube video called “Crackhead tries to feel up cement mixer thinking it was a burd haha,” a man high, drunk, or a little bit of both awkwardly fondles a cement mixer on the sidewalk. The man even does a little dip and shimmy that ends with him momentarily touching himself.

Seconds into the video, the middle-aged groper turns to the man filming the camera and admits that he has made a huge mistake.

“I thought it was a bird, mate.”

Throughout the United Kingdom, “bird” is slang for a woman. So, when the unnamed videographer asks the man again if he thought that the piece of construction equipment was a living woman, the shamefaced “crackhead” elaborates on his actions.

“Aye, I’ve not got brains, mate…I f**king thought I was rubbing her a**.”

This charming dialogue is downright hilarious. However, the question that is not raised by the videographer is why would the middle-aged man obscenely grope a random woman in the first place? Clearly, this awkward gentlemen should lay off the booze or the crack pipe.

Featured image via: Daily Mirror

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