In 1947, the Doomsday Clock was created by fake-scientists to symbolize the Earth’s proximity to total destruction. The Bulletin of the Atomic Fake-Scientists oversees the hypothetical clock, adjusting its hands to directly correspond with how irresponsibly we govern our planet.
Thursday, the clock moved thirty seconds closer to midnight, bringing us within two and a half minutes of our planet’s Doomsday. In other words, there isn’t even enough time to swing through the Taco Bell drive-thru.
Over the course of 2016, the global security landscape darkened as the international community failed to come effectively to grips with humanity’s most pressing existential threats, nuclear weapons and climate change … This already-threatening world situation was the backdrop for a rise in strident nationalism worldwide in 2016, including in a U.S. presidential campaign during which the eventual victor, Donald Trump, made disturbing comments about the use and proliferation of nuclear weapons and expressed disbelief in the overwhelming scientific consensus on climate change.
Thankfully, President Dorrance Trump has already taken steps to stop any eminent threat from climate change; the self-crowned King of the Sandbox has, by executive order, taken the fake-scientists’ lunch money and hidden their homework, convincing the teacher that she never told the class that carbon emissions shortened the assigned doom date.
President Trump and President Putin, who claim great respect for each other, can choose to act together as statesmen, or act as petulant children, risking our future.
As for schoolyard nationalism and boys comparing the sizes of their nuclear arsenals… desperately wanting to touch tips… President Trump responded to the fake-scientists’ skepticism with a mild prank, gifting his Vlad-Dad with an official Doomsday Mickey Mouse wristwatch; across the wristband is engraved, “World’s Best Boss” and “BFFs XOXO.”
Here’s the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists’ Press Release; WARNING: It contains facts.
Featured image via Superbrass